Day 5

 Didn't pray last night. Cancelled my order for Jeff Cavins book. Was reading the bible in bed last night, in addition to the Companion book and it felt like I was going through the motions. The same feeling I had when I started the podcast in 2023 and when I got to around Day 150 or so. 

I joined the Bible in a Year Facebook page, and I have to admit, I'm jealous of all of those who seem to be so consumed with the spirit of Christ and who are so enthusiastic about their daily readings. And the comprehensive notes that some of these folks write into their bibles! It's absolutely stunning and remarkable. I don't know why but I feel like somewhat of an outsider in the group. There's this pious vibe that sort of makes a lot of the people their appear fake and self-righteous. I could be wrong, though. They might all be excellent people. Possibly, I'm looking at them from my own dark mindset. 

Anyway, I haven't finished today's podcast nor commenced the reading. I'll post more after I get that done.

Addendum #1

Well, I did finish today's podcast and the short talk with Jeff Cavins that followed thereafter. I'm feeling a little bit more restored now. Fr. Schmitz makes the point that it's ok if you don't "get" it all after reading the text. These things take time, etc.

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